


Upperhell

by Aschemer_meme3r



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Underfell (Undertale), Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Eventual Smut, F/M, Female Reader, Fluff and Angst, Hate, OC’S - Freeform, Post-Undertale Pacifist Route, Reader Is Not Chara (Undertale), Reader Is Not Frisk (Undertale), Reader-Insert, Red has Anxiety, Slow Burn, Underfell Papyrus (Undertale), Underfell Sans (Undertale), Undertale Monsters on the Surface, in their own way, mentions of abuse, monster racism, reader has anxiety, skelly boys be cute
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-01
Updated: 2020-10-26
Packaged: 2021-03-06 15:28:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,617
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26241154
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aschemer_meme3r/pseuds/Aschemer_meme3r
Summary: Blurb idea: monsters have been on the surface for months but were put into institutions basically as soon as the barrier broke by the government. They were forced to undergo therapy and listen to informational videos about humans and societal norms/expectation in an effort to better assimilate them (mainly wanted to get a feel for them and gage how dangerous they were *they were insanely biased*). The monsters begrudgingly agreed when the government promised citizenships to all the monsters who  actively participated. After a few months of being stuck in that lame cover-up of a prison they were released but they still weren’t free. The government decided that they would only grant them any semblance of basic rights after being put under close supervision to see how they behaved amongst society. They gave monsters case workers and put them into a specially tailored program made for the purpose of integrating monsters. It had alarmingly similar parallels to the foster care system. Yes you heard right they put grown monsters under the supervision of complete strangers with no specialized training in any regard all because humans thought themselves to be above them why would they be angry over something like.
Relationships: Sans (Undertale) & Reader, Sans (Undertale)/Reader, Sans (Undertale)/You
Comments: 12
Kudos: 32





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So I’ve seen a couple fics where the monsters have surfaced from the underground only to be forced into facilities and treatment centers and I’ll be honest i’m a real die hard for them. So this is my very ungraceful attempt at dipping my hand in not only undertale/fell fanfic but the ‘fore mentioned sub-genre of the post undertale world. I have all sorts of ideas so hopefully you be kind a bear with me.
> 
> I’m hoping for each chapter to be in the 1300 to 1500 word range so will see how that goes. I’m also hoping to post weekly or bi weekly depending on my work load.
> 
> I’ve never posted my work before so I’m not even sure if this fic will float but gosh darn it I’m gonna try to make something worthwhile anyways audience or not. 
> 
> Sorry for the cut off but I really wanted the next chapter to star from the lovely readers point of view before we get into the whole met and greet. Also thought I should mention that the reader character of the story will have bit of a back story but will still stay sort of vague, it’s just the sort of thing that happens in reader insert you know.

(Sans POV)

Humans can be such arrogant pricks, who were they to decide what other people should do or how someone should act or even where they lived for that matter?

They can’t even keep one fucking promise, as simple as it was.

You would think that they would be just itchin’ to be rid of them with how they treated the monsters of the underground during their stay at the ‘institution’ _heh hellhole was more like it_ , but no. They seem completely content with keeping monsters under their grubby little thumbs.

**Power hungry bastards.**

**Damn humans always sticking their nose in other people's business.**

**What gave them the right to tell monsters what to do.**

  
So here he was, packing up what little he had of his worldly possession to be carted off like a lamb to slaughter alongside his brother, not that he’d ever let them get that far but still. 

They were  _ grown _ dammit, they didn’t need someone to take care of them especially not by the likes of some self righteous human. Why did they have to make things so complicated? He was definitely more capable than a lowly human that was for sure.

Despite being on the surface for as long they had it still felt they were underground, closed off, small quarters, no freedom, stuck behind locked doors, there were even grated  **bars** on the windows! 

Eight months and he barely even seen the stars, only catching a small glimpse at them in passing when he made his way back from the cafeteria to where he slept in his communal living space. Which did wonders for his sleep, you know having to constantly be on the lookout for anyone who was trying to backstab him, quite literally. Suppose it was a good thing he was never one for trusting. 

Oh stars, the amount of times he had been tempted to just ‘pop’ out for a minute to just  _ be _ outside and really take in the world was substantial but he had seen what happened to monsters who rebelled having at times been one himself and as much as he hated submitting to anyone he had to play his card right if not for him then for his brother.

As strong as boss was, what these humans were capable of, what he had seen and heard them do was just plain cruel and that’s was coming from _him_ a monster of the underground. there were standards you know, rules to abide by lines no one would cross. 

‘That’s human fer ya’

“SANS STOP YOUR LOLLYGAGGING AND FOLD THAT SHIRT THE RIGHT WAY THIS INSTANT.”

Oh right he was meant to be packing and papyrus was here.. probably about to give him a lecture for spacing off, oops.  


“HONESTLY MUST I DO EVERYTHING FOR YOU MOVE ASIDE BROTHER.”

“Sorry boss.” was all he managed to mumble out, his mind still spiraling in thought.

  
—

The car ride was a long one, filled with bumps and sharp turns that had his bones digging even more into the side of the door. The car might have as well been the size of a cardboard box compared to him and his brother.

Boss was stuck hunching over in the most undignified way.

His knees pulled tightly to his chest, arms crossed under what could be thought of as the thighs of his legs. It would seem he was trying to fold into himself in the effort of making his tall stature fit as best as possible into the vehicle and if the look of his eye lights was any indicator,he was far from pleased.

For a brief moment his mind wondered just when the last time boss had looked so small, it had to have been decades, he knew it sure felt like it.

Sans wasn’t doing much better in regards to fittings comfortably into the cupboard of a car either.

He may be shorter than his brother but what he lacked in length he made up for in his width. The seat belt was tight around his chest, the front of his body practically pressed to the backside of the passenger seat.

He had scooted as close to the door as physically possible for a monster of his size hoping to give papyrus more space to spread out not liking the uncomfortable look his brother face was sporting, a mix of pestering irritation and physical discomfort as they stayed stuck sitting in the car.

They had been driving for more than an hour now, if the digital clock of the car was anything to go by.

At first he had kept his mind busy eyeing the tall buildings and bright lights of the city taking in what he had been denied seeing for so long as they whizzed past them in a confusing haze as they continued on to reach their desired destination, but they had passed through the city what seemed like forever ago and the trees were starting to all look the same.

And being pressed against the door was starting to get on his nerves, the handle scraping across the sides of his ribs and to make matters worse the bones of his body were starting to be pulled stiffly together from sitting so long without any space.

‘Probably couldn’t even move a finger if I tried’.

How they even got in the car in the first place was a mystery to him; they just had been so eager to leave that shitty place deciding one human to deal with was better than the dozens of them that worked at the institution they were forced to stay at.

Speaking of humans, Sans turned his attention to their case worker, watching him in irritation as the human focused his eyes on the road occasionally glancing up at the reflective mirror inside the car to catch a look at the two skeletons sitting behind him, driving on with little idea of where they were going.

It would seem human technology were as worthless as they were. The ‘voice map’ that this idiot was relying on kept sending them in every direction but where they actually were meant to be going and it was pissing him off with every passing second he had to listen to the robotic voice spit out where to turn or what road to take.

His Irritation grew becoming more apparent as the brow of his bone furrowed together, eyes turning a deeper red glaring daggers at the man in the driver's seat and Oh boy if looks could kill the car would be swerving head-first into the tree line.

The man caught onto sans harsh stare shooting a look of his own into the reflective mirror stupid decision on his part he finally snapped at the old bastard.

Snarling sans made the malice in voice undeniable “ Are ya jus’ gonna keep driven ‘round like a chicken with his head cut off,” huffing at the man trying push his chest out to assert dominance his movements restricted from the stupid belt he was forced to wear, something about a safety procatuion and what not.”, er are ya gonna use that little head of yours and figure out where yer ‘pose ta be taking us.”

Papyrus made a grumble of agreement at his words, the edges of his mouth turning upwards in a snarky smile passing on his silent judgement at the man's stupidity.

He had been unnervingly quite the whole car ride to sans surprise ‘not that he was complaining’ it just wasn't something he had thought his brother to be capable of.

Funny how life can change.

The man was not pleased to say the least, the corners of his eyes crinkled as they narrowed in annoyance at the bellidlement he had just received. 

“Like you could do any better, I could drop your boney ass out on the side off the road right now if I wanted and let you live on the streets like rats. No chip off my shoulder so,.. so shut up alright.” His sentence tapering off towards the end, a quiet anger settling into the man before them.

Despite what he said it would seem he took sans words to heart pulling over to the side of the road to figure out where he was meant to be going probably just as fed up with them like they were with him. He pulled out his phone calling what would seem to be his employer to make sure there wasn't a mix-up with the address given.

Actually he seems to be calling multiple people to solve this whole ‘going around in circles’ situation.

The man kept talking and talking, what was his name again louey? Lewis? Not that he actually cared what this human name was, but it would be in his best interest to be able to distinguish him from the others he’s met or on second thought maybe he can forget about him all together after he drops them off to be annoyed by an equally dumb human.

‘Yeah fat chance of that happening!’ he laughed internally ‘it's supposed to be this guy's job to do monthly check ups on me and paps. to see how we’re doing making sure we don’t kill any pathetic humans during our stay in this ‘upperhell.’

He was pulled from his thoughts at the sound of a faint feminime voice on the other line but he was too tired to care what was being said at this point. his head felt heavy, slightly bobbing under the weight of fatigue. He really just wanted a nap. No, he couldn't.

Not yet, sleeping left you vulnerable; he couldn’t risk being vulnerable. Humans, They may not have all that much strength in magic having lost touch with their souls all those years ago but the pure will of their soul was enough to kill any monster, even someone as strong as him.

He had to stay vigilant, after all it’s kill or be killed and sans was by no means prey.


	2. Yup i’m really doing this

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright so I only wrote half of what I wanted to include next but it ended up being longer than I had initially anticipated and seeing how I lack any sense of self control I’m gonna jump the gun on what I have now, ‘cause yolo, and post it so yeah you.
> 
> God im gonna hate my self for this later I know it. There are already things that I’m contemplating on editing in the first chapter of this Story mainly because I wrote in like one sitting with minimal editing on my part so you know that’s always fun.

  
(y/n pov)

It was the ringing sound of her phone that had initially pulled her from her slumber that morning.

Groaning in defiant indifference, she took a quick glance out the window of her room having never been much of a morning person. The inky blackness of the sky was enough to tell her that she still had plenty of time left to sleep and she would have to if her mind hadn’t gained enough of a conscious to recognize the specialized ringtone she had set when she saved the contact into her phone for convenience.

Damn it, _so_ close.

Rolling over she patted around the bed trying to find her phone under the fluff of her blanket hoping the call wouldn’t end soon. she needed them to know that she was available at all hours no way was she was gonna screw this up now.

  
“Ah ha found it”

her tiredness was showing through in her voice but the small victory was enough to put her in a good enough mood to not come off as snippy to whomever thought that.. _FIVE_ O’clock was a good time as any to be woken up at.

  
The nerve of some people.

  
“Uh hello” she stated tiredly as she wiped the sleep from her eyes hoping that the small action would help to focus her mind so she could retain the conversation that was to come.

‘it must be important if they’re making calls as soon as the place opens up.’ she thought decidedly ‘It _better_ be I didn’t wake up just for shits and giggles you know, ...so maybe waking up this early isn’t as awful as i’m making out to be but waking before the sun is even out has never been my strong suite and man do I value those nightly hours of carefree blissfulness.’

That carefree blissfulness being sleep, naturally.

  
“Yes, hello there. Is this (y/n) (l/n) that I'm speaking to.” the stoic voice of what you can only assume to be an assistance of sorts coming through from the other line

  
“The one and only,” chuckling lightly feeling her awkward attempt at humor falling short “,so uh what is that you need.”

_  
Silence_

Her heart dropped at that.

  
‘Fuck’ she shouldn’t have tried joking.

She should have just been straight forward, no need to say anything more outside of what was necessary.

She should have, oh wait they’re talking again.

“Sorry about that, I was just taking a quick look over your file, you mind confirming a few details with me we just want to make sure the information is still accurate.” Their voice still unwavering as ever.

She stilled her nerves no way was she gonna let her momentary lapse of panic sink this conversation.

“Of course, what do you need to know sir.”

‘That’s it, polite and straight to the point. No need to get yourself worked up over nothing, you got this (y/n).’

“It says here that you are currently living in a three bedroom home, is that still true ma’am.”

“Yeah, it’s true,” she was biting at her lip at this point, hoping to not make a fool of herself more than she felt she already had, it’s just me so it should be plenty big enough for a monster or two, I know I wouldn't mind accommodating them.”

‘God she hoped she wasn’t coming across as overly eager.’

  
“huh.. is that so,” there was a small pause in his words giving a certain tone of thoughtfulness to them “,would you mind if I made a note of that in your application.” Though his change in tone didn’t last long as he went back to his ‘people speaking’ voice.

“um _sure_.. Yeah, why not?” She really hoped that she didn’t come off as too uncertain, not wanting to make them think she was indecisive or seem like a liar by saying no when she had literally just said she would. Silently praying to the stars above that she didn’t just bite off more than she can chew. Her natural habit of overthinking rearing its ugly head into her thoughts like usual.

Honestly she didn't know why she was worrying she had already been expecting for a while that people would end up housing a few monsters at a time given the amount of humans who were actually willing to be around them.

  
‘cowards’

  
Though they had never really mentioned before the actual number of monsters they were planning on placing in the homes of those who had signed up to be “caregivers” as they put it, nor did they tell people who had about the types of monsters they were considering placing within their homes which left her feeling slightly nervous.

As caregivers they had to provide basic necessities and she didn’t want to go off preemptively and buy them something that wasn't the right fit for them making herself overly concerned about small details like was her furniture the right size or if the dishes she had were too big or too small. All the little things that she could only wish would help make their transition easier.

  
Moving in with a complete stranger would be hard; she knew for certain things would be difficult at first. she just wanted to do what she could to make things bearable for whoever got stuck living with her knowing from experience how hellish big changes can be.

Naturally she had assumed they would at least try to keep children with their parents seeing how humans knew very little about how monsters worked nonetheless how to nurture growth in their young.

They wouldn’t split up families would they?

She was no stranger to how cruel people could be or the type of folks who ran the institution to begin with, but would they stoop so low as to separate entire families from each other. Rip children from their parents arms and force siblings apart for who knows how long effectively taking the only anchor they probably had at the moment. Then there was the matter of other types of relationships like romantic partners or friends which came with its own set of dynamics.

It would be an understatement to say she had been putting a lot of thought into what her soon to be new housemates were going through, whoever they may be.

—

The phone call went back and forth between her and ‘monotone man’ for a while as he continued to ask her questions about her lifestyle and home amenities and she in turn answered them as best as she could in her early morning state.

  
If she had to guess, she would say they were trying to gage what sort of monsters would fit best for the sort of home she lived in as the question went from how long she worked everyday to how much floor space each room had or the height of her ceilings which were relatively tall. She thought so anyway, never actually having seen a monster in person, her only scale being that of what's considered to be large by human standards.

  
Eventually She had finally freed herself from the downpour of questions she had been getting from the man on the other side of the phone. The sky having turned a lighter shade of blue than before as the sun was beginning to rise, giving light to this side of the hemisphere once more as it did everyday.

  
‘I wonder what they think of sunrises.’

  
Well no point in laying around anymore seeing how she was completely awake by now.

  
Sitting up she had decided she would watch what was left of the sunrise on the front porch. Pivoting her legs to the side of the bed she leaned forward till the tips of her toes had touched the soft fabric of her rug. pushing against the bed with her hands she was finally in an upright position and _totally_ ready to take on the day, the blanket she had been using still wrapped around her form as she made her way to the front door, feet fumbling slightly stepping on the edge of it as she continued to drag it behind her.

The metal doorknob felt icy in her grasp, with a small inhale she prepared herself for the cold sting of the morning air that waited for her beyond the entryway of her home. Pulling the door back just enough to slip between the opening as she had officially made her way outside with little difficulty mind you but her journey wasn’t over just yet.

She continued walking forward making her way to the eastern side of the wrap around porch, wooden boards bellowing beneath the weight of her barefeet in its typical splintery protest as she settled in front of the railing, resting her forearms against the ledge of the banister, effectively supporting her upper body weight on it.

Maybe it wasn’t so bad having to wake up as early as she did today.

The sun was burning the sky at its horizon in a soft orange hue melting away what was left of the night sky in such splendor, a pink glow sinking into the clouds that hung in the sky spanding off in a multitude of directions.

The rays of light that filtered its way through the thick brush of trees that surrounded the property already melting away the frost the cold gave leaving nothing more than dew as it gleamed in the shining new light of the morning.

It was quiet outside aside from the soft chirping of birds and sporadic clicks from the more noisier insects

She had almost forgotten how enamored she could be with sunrises at times. Having taken their beauty for granted more often than not by sleeping through them but hey the night time ruled and so did sleeping in, so fair trade.

Despite her best efforts she couldn’t get her mind off her previous call with the man from the facility. When she had first got in contact with them about opening up her home to whatever monster they saw fit it hadn’t felt all that drastic even if it was only a month ago. Something about that call made the situation she had put herself in seem all too real, grounding herself in the reality of the moment.

Sure she had _thought_ about what would happen when the inevitable day came where she be bunking up with monsters but it felt so far away at the time. Now it was pressing it face up on the glass surrounding her conscious, looking at her like she was some zoo animal.

She knew she wasn’t a saint by a long shot, no way could she fool herself into believing that.

  
If she was she probably would have done more to protest when monsters were being treated like lesser beings, still being treated like lesser beings, or you know not support the government when they basically handed out jobs as full time fucking babysitters to grown sentient beings. having signed up to be one herself, in all honesty she just didn’t see that Protesting would be helping anytime soon which isn't much of an excuse but all she could think about was how trapped they must feel in that place.

  
It seemed like the fastest way to grant them some sense of freedom.

  
After all there were so many monsters in the underground and if she was being honest she doubted there was a lot of space to _just_ be alone given the small size of the place. Probably having orderlies breathing down their neck anyways.

So maybe she empathized with them a little was that so wrong. Not having a home to call your own sucked ass which is why she maybe might have you know flown by the seat of her pants as soon as she saw that the government was looking for people willing to open their arms to monsters and welcome them into their home.

And she was by no means against picking up strays.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I wrote none of the plot points that I wanted to in this chapter but in my defense I did say It was slow burn. I’m hoping in the next Chapter we will at least be on the precipice of the reader and them skelly boys meeting so you have that to look forward to.
> 
> Hopefully I did okay-ish at showing parts of reader the way I intended to.  
> (In case you haven’t noticed I’m an amateur writer at best but I love what I do so that’s good enough for me, I hope that can be good enough for you)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know it’s been a while since I last posted, I know I should have been more productive but I’ve been lacking motivation lately as well as being filled with a lot of self doubt. But you know what screw you inner voice I’m doing this even if it’s not as perfect or well crafted as I would like. So I would like to give everyone who left kudos or comments Or even bothered to read this fic at all a special thanks I guess you could say you’ve filled me with determination so yea thanks 😊.

The sun had long settled into the sky for the day by the time she came to her senses and made way to the safety of her inner home, her legs making quick work to the kitchen at the call her stomach made.

‘It isn’t really healthy to ignore the grumbling of one’s stomach now is it’ she thought to herself in contemplation.

Outstretching her arm to the fridge she gave a simple tug to the handle of its door, revealing the contents in which it harbored.

‘Wow, I really ought to go grocery shopping soon, living off of milk, eggs,cheese and condiments are not conducive to a healthy lifestyle, although I could make some french toast with it’

That thought alone was enough to spur her on to pull out the milk and eggs from the fridge, turning to place the contents on the island aside from her; she used her foot to kick the door of the fridge closed. Gliding over to the spice cupboard she fetched what was needed of seasonings with little deliberation, now it was time to prepare the mixture.

Grabbing a nearby bowl she cracked an egg on the ridge of its surface placing its inside within the confines of the bowl. Eyeing the rest of the ingredients proportions by sight, she stirred until it was completely homogeneous. From there all that had to be done was heat the pan and dip the bread in the egg batter. She found the cooking process was simple enough, nothing too sophisticated just a flip here and there and it would be sufficiently cooked.

Making french toast always gave an aromatic smell to her beloved home, one she often enjoyed due to the easiness of the dish and its lack of time consumption for its creation.

Can you truly blame them, making breakfast was honestly too much of a task for how early she often made it. Thank goodness it was the weekend otherwise she would have been out the door by now seeing how it was 10 am, her ordinarily leaving for her part-time job at 8:30, she wouldn’t be having breakfast at all if that were the case.

Speaking of which the bread was done cooking, any longer it would start to burn, using the spatula she picked up the food and set them on a medium sized platter; the only thing left to do was to top it off.

Once her meal was properly smothered with powdered sugar as well as a light drizzle of syrup she saw it fit to kill the heat to the stove. Soon after she waltzed over to her ever so lovely couch, It was made with a soft dark material that helped to give contrast in her otherwise lightly colored home. The feel of it was astonishingly soothing as well, once she pressed her skin against it she was in sensory heaven. There were buttons in the middle of each cushion that gathered the fabric to create a small ruffle effect that expanded to the outer edges of the cushion which only served to add to its charm, or so she felt anyways.

In truth she hardly ever saw anything she found to be charming these days, everything was such a bore giving its factory based productions leaving very little room for variations in now-a-days products. It's not that she was against industrialization or anything, she often relied on technology for most things within her life. It was just that she was the type to enjoy something that was different, something that was a complete contrast to everyday expectations, something that wasn’t a boring drab that only exuberated the plainness she often felt.

Perhaps by societal standards she could be considered a tad bit eccentric but who cared, she could manage it well enough that hardly anyone ever noticed it.

She wasn’t the type to intentionally become a spectacle for everyone to guack at, so in public she often concealed that part of who she was, whether it be her tamed outfits or her lack of outward opinions, though she imagined it still shined through her defenses and to tell you the truth part of her hoped it did too. Being seen can be good at times and she was tired of keeping face with the less familiar people in her life.

“Oh!,” her face lit up at her revelation “I bet with the monsters I’ll be having around it won’t matter much, they’ll think I’m off my rocker for sure!” saying this left a smile on the corners of her mouth though the admission of it was sort of blunt on her part.

She wasn’t sure why the idea of this felt so good to her as she spent the majority of her life trying to seem like your everyday joe but in the safety of her home she could admit to herself at last that she was tired of the person people thought her to be.

She wanted to be bold again, a roaring fire that no one could extinguish the flames of.

But that was another matter, right now all she wanted to do was watch a bit of television and eat the food that she had occupied on her lap.

Grabbing the remote she began channel surfing for something to hold her attention, in the end she settled for the local news; definitely not setting her ears to hone in for any monster related topics. Yup, that was her good ole (y/n), completely indifferent to what was happening to how monsters were being treated.

Oh, who was she kidding, she always cared too deeply for the life of strangers even more so the treatment they received from others; everyone who's ever known her knew this too so there was no point in pretending she wasn’t overly invested.

For Christ sake she would be housing monsters in this month or the next, of course she cared. How could that be anymore apparent? Well she supposed she could write it on her forehead but she found that to be unnecessary, though it was a humorous idea to say the least.

Still she would have to get over it, with monsters by her side she’d be the talk of the town that she used to be. There will be no passing through the mass of people with little recognition on their part.

Stuffing a bit of her french toast into her mouth she munched on it methodically drifting from her thoughts to the reporter on tv.

The government has issued a statement it seemed about possible funding for caregivers, up until now taking in monsters was just an act of good will but with this new information at her disposal she couldn’t help the guilt that crawled up her back as well as a hint of anger.

Her face twisted at the thought of it all, would people take in monsters just for a dollar in their pocket, what would this mean for them, would they get the treatment they deserved with this new order, was the government doing anything in regards to their safety?

And then what about her

She felt like she would be using them, whomever they may be, if she took the government's payouts. They wouldn’t trust her motives now either, it would just seem like she was this money driven human to them, that she was some sort of crook trying to take advantage of their vulnerability.

Any hope she had about showing them she was on their side just went out the window. All the weeks she spent thinking of ways to prove to them she was only trying to do a kindness were gone.

Her mind was kicked into overdrive.

‘What to do, what to do?’

‘They’re already going to have feelings of resentment for me, but if they find that I'm getting paid for their lack of indiscretion as well, Ha I can kiss any form of civility goodbye.’

Instantly she threw her hands over her face to conceal her emotions despite the fact she was alone with no one to hide from. Her chest was heaving and her face flushed, she was breaking down at this point; tears on the verge of spilling past the lids of her eyes. She felt dreadful about the situation she found herself in. she didn’t need payment she didn’t need anything from anyone she just wanted to help and now she felt like the only thing she did was make matters worse, despite not being in control of the decision that led to the ache she was feeling.

‘This is it, i’m screwed, i’m irrevocably screwed

‘Stupid government with their stupid compenstaion messing up my stupid feelings.’

‘Why can't I ever seem to catch a break.’

‘...’

‘Okay (y/n) calm down you don’t want to lose yourself to this.’

‘Deep breaths you can do this

  
‘you're fine.’

‘it's alright.’

‘we’re gonna be okay.’

After a minute or so of giving herself personal reassurance and following some deep breathing techniques she read on the internet, her heart began to slow down and she could feel herself coming down from the high of her secondary lapse of panic from the day. At last she removed the hands shielding her features, using them to wipe any displeasure from her face; forcing a small smile to grace her lips in mock positivity.

“Well,” she stated out loud as if to further reassure herself,” if I am to be given money for their care I’ll be damn sure that every penny is spent on them and them alone,” a sigh left her mouth and her eyes casted downward from her positioned on the couch that made her seem pitiful “..Yeah, just them.”

It was an easy solution she thought and it helped to lessen the feeling of her inner turmoil on the matter. Despite this she was at a loss for her appetite and decided it would be best to save the toast for a later time. Another downside to being an anxious person was the stomach pain it brought her.

She would have to spend the rest of the day mellowing out to get the feeling to go down, most likely having to settle for a small dinner as not to risk upsetting her stomach to a further degree.

In the meantime she felt like she deserved a well required nap; having to wake up at five, deal with people, and then endure the buratting of her inner thoughts had left her exhausted.

Standing up from the couch she walked to the front door to pick up the blanket she had unceremoniously dumped upon reentering. When she wakes up she’ll need to clean the floor, mentally noting the dirt that stuck to the blanket as she shook it off so it may be used without discomfort on her part.

Trudging on to her room she found each step heavier than her last, sleep already washing over her form before making it to her room. She didn’t even bother to close the door behind her as she landed face first into the mattress of her bed. By the time she had fully positioned herself onto the pillow she had nearly fallen asleep, the lids of her eyes shut tight under the weight of her growing tiredness. But before she could be swallowed by the darkness of her unconscious she couldn’t help the mutter that slipped past her mouth.

“why does everything have to be so complicated with me?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I might change the first half of this chapter. The more I read it the more I come to hate it but I‘ll only do that if my version of the text changes significantly Otherwise it will stay as a boring skip-able section of this chapter I guess.
> 
> I wish I can just feel these feelings before posting, that way I can address without having to confuse people but alas my brain is a big dumb dumb


End file.
